In order to know what you deserve you must love yourself first. Take the time to recognise all your strengths. Celebrate all your successes. Surround everything you do with kindness and self-compassion for yourself. Practice self-care, gratitude and build your positive mindset daily. So for today: How will you love yourself first? The post…
via Learn To Love Yourself First. — Deborah Byrne Psychology Services
What self care looks like will depend entirely on who you are. If you’ve never had to think about this before, it will be a journey of discovery, and the things people tell you are good for you won’t necessarily turn out to help. What of your path will help you? Meditation – you might […]
Intuition is sometimes thought of as the sixth sense. Basically, it’s an inner knowing that does not involve the mind, or intellectual or logical processes. It’s when we feel something instinctually without needing to be analytical. When we have an intuitive feeling, we’re receiving ideas without being aware of where they’re coming from.
Following your intuition means that you’re listening to your inner voice, which can be a huge tool in the decision-making process. A study done by Lufityanto, Donkin, and Pearson (2016) found that nonconscious emotional information can boost the accuracy of decision-making while also increasing an individual’s sense of confidence. In addition, it was found to speed up the actual decision-making process. This is fascinating information and confirmation that trusting our inner voices and intuition can be a positive action.
According to transpersonal psychologist Frances Vaughan (1998), intuitive awareness falls into four main categories: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual, which we can use independently of one another.
An example of inner knowing as it pertains to the physical self might be when we’re in an unsafe or uncomfortable situation and we feel a sensation in our body, whether it’s a headache, stomachache, or a sense of anxiety. This points to a form of inner knowing that offers a message: “Learning to trust your bodily responses is part of learning to trust your intuition” (p. 186). If your body is giving you information, then it’s a good idea to listen because the information can ensure your safety. If you habitually have the same response to the same situation, it might have to do with a preexisting (perhaps childhood) trauma. Being mindful of this reaction will allow you to cope.
An example of emotional inner knowing is when you feel that someone’s energy or vibes are either positive or negative. Most often, this will affect your behavior when you engage with them. Often there’s no particular reason for how you feel; it’s just felt at a vibrational level. Moving forward, these vibrations can provide you with valuable information. Those who experience this type of intuition might have a tendency for synchronistic and/or psychic experiences. For example, you might be thinking about someone and then that person phones you.
Mental inner knowing, according to Vaughan, pertains to an awareness accessed through images or “inner vision.” You might see patterns in a situation that was previously chaotic. This sort of inner knowing or intuition is sometimes referred to as “having a gut feeling.”
Spiritual inner knowing or soul guidance might be associated with mystical experiences. Experts have suggested that regular meditation practice can foster and enhance a sense of this type of intuition.
In his classic book You Are Psychic! (1989), Pete A. Sanders says that psychic abilities can be tapped into using the “psychic reception areas.” He identifies four different psychic senses in the body: psychic feeling (in the solar plexus), psychic intuition (knowing or inner awareness), psychic hearing (on both sides of the head above the ears), and psychic vision (the third eye or the place between the eyebrows). In the same way that some of us are auditory or visual learners, we each have strengths in one of these psychic areas. Sanders says that in order to face challenges and make good decisions, it’s important to learn your own psychic strength because it can affect how you live your life. Also, when you know the psychic strengths of your loved ones, you can communicate with them more effectively.
How to Tap into Your Intuition
1. Begin a regular meditation and mindfulness practice. Meditation will help you tap into your subconscious mind and is a powerful way to awaken your intuitive powers.
2. Use the intuition “psychic reception center.” This was discussed by Sanders and describes a spot on your head where you receive intuitive messages. The idea is to imagine a funnel on the top of your head, with the larger end of the funnel touching your head and the narrow part extending into the universe. When you need to tap into your intuition and focus on something, place this imaginary funnel on your head and focus your awareness on that area. Be receptive to the messages you receive.
3. Maintain a regular journaling practice. Journaling is a wonderful way to tap you’re your intuition. For example, try to think about a recent situation you’d like more insight about. Focus on that event and pay attention to the thoughts that emerge. Write in your journal what comes to you. As you go about your day, observe others, and see if you can pick up any messages from their body language even before they speak to you. It’s all about “tuning in.” When you have the opportunity, jot down your observations in your journal.
4. Practice creative visualization: Shatki Gawain wrote two seminal books on the subject — Creative Visualization and Developing Intuition, which work hand in hand. Creative visualization is a technique where you close your eyes and use your imagination to create what you want in your life. It can open you up to new creative energies that will help you tap into your intuition.
Begin with a few minutes of diaphragm breathing. Then, let go of any thoughts that enter your mind, and imagine them fading away. Picture yourself in a cave where you remove all your clothes and lie down. Feel the moisture dripping from the ceiling, as its acidic nature begins to dissolve your skin, organs, and body systems. Think of yourself as a skeleton, while being completely aware. Being stripped of everything can offer a magical opening into your intuitive self and may also help you tap into your inner voice.
References:
Lufityanto, G., C. Donkin, and J. Pearson. (2016). “Measuring Intuition: Nonconscious Emotional Information Boosts Decision Accuracy and Confidence . Psychological Science Online.
Sanders, P.A. (1989). You Are Psychic!. New York, NY: Simon and Schuster.
Vaughan, F. (1998). “Mental, Emotional, and Body-Based Intuition.” In Inner Knowing, by H. Palmer, Ed. New York, NY: Jeremy Tarcher.
With parenthood comes great responsibility and so do come parenting stress and anxiety. For first-time parents, the newness of the experience and being novice at child-raising puts them in quite a vulnerable position where the pressure to bring up the child properly, and at the same time, leaving nothing to chance, adds too much to their anxiety.
All parents, at some point in their life, experience parenting stress thanks to the fast-paced world that keeps bombarding them with child-rearing challenges on an almost daily basis. Parenting stress can be detrimental to not only the parents but also their child(ren).
In cases where the child suffers from some chronic disease, the associated parenting stress may also negatively impact the child’s health-related outcomes as the stress on the parents may hamper the management of a child’s illness as well. While some parents show pliancy while facing stressors and perform adequately well, some might get so overwhelmed by the demanding regimens and responsibilities that the whole functioning of the family would get disrupted. Therefore, it is pertinent to not ignore the indications of stress from the very start and take necessary action to contain it in time.
The signs or symptoms of one’s being under parenting stress include, persistent headache, disturbed sleep patterns, body aches, muscle tension, often feeling low on energy, losing interest in the things one used to like before, and being irritable with one’s children and people around.
If the above symptoms apply to you too, you are probably suffering from parenting stress. Hence, it is time to take a break and refocus on your life and priorities. Here are five easy ways that can help you cope with parenting stress effectively:
Make self-care a priority: Only a healthy parent can raise a healthy child. Do yourself a favour and attend to your own needs and requirements too while taking care of your kids’. Get enough sleep. It will naturally boost your ability to cope with stress. Besides, consider other aspects of self-care such as exercise and eating balanced food as well. Parenthood does not necessarily have to mean putting oneself at the back seat. Self-care is, in fact, an opportunity and a great way to lead your children by example. They will learn from you how to cope with life’s exasperation healthily and not ignore one’s well-being.
Make realistic goals: Instead of struggling with perfectionism, understand that it is okay to set achievable standards, even if they are less than perfect. Aiming for consistent perfection leads to stress. Take it easy. It is human not to be able to multitask every time and keep everything in its best shape on all days. Also, it is important to not let this make you feel any less. Know that you are still good enough. Give your children the time they require and while doing that, if you are not able to clean the house to the extent you once used to, it is fine.
Focus your efforts: Parenting demands attending to a large number of issues simultaneously but at the same time, it is humanly impossible to do so, on a daily basis. And therefore, it becomes necessary to pick your battles. As a parent, you need to get your priorities right and identify what matters the most to you that you cannot let go at any cost, and the things that figure comparatively lower on your priority list. For instance, giving your children quality time, providing them good education and instilling moral values might be of utmost important to you while taking them out to restaurants, getting them multiple dresses or enrolling them in hobby classes might be something you feel your children can do without. Determine what matters most to you as a parent, and direct your energy and efforts to get those things done on priority and then see whether you are still left with the energy and resources to get other less important things done.
Talk to friends and ask for help: Talking to friends is the best therapy to deal with almost every kind of stress. Meet up with a friend when you feel overwhelmed by parenting issues. If that is not possible, call that friend and share your concerns with him/her. It is possible that your friend too might be facing the same challenges as you are and this kinship would release the inordinate pressure once you realise that probably you are taking thing too seriously. Similarly, if you feel exhausted while attending to the daily needs and demands of your child, ask for help from your elders especially your parents, in-laws or even neighbours. Advice from people, who are more experienced in raising children than you, can go a long way in solving minor but emotionally taxing problems, such as common childhood illnesses.
Get professional help: If you feel that things are going out of hand and you are not able to tackle the parenting stress despite all your efforts and support system, it is time to reach out for professional help. Unforeseen negative life events and bringing up a child with physical or mental disability may amount to tremendous amount of stress for the parents and they might feel exceedingly overwhelmed. In such cases, it is best for the parents to consult a mental health provider. Visit a psychologist, if you are overly stressed. He or she would help you handle anxiety issues, life changes, or even relationship issues through counselling/talk therapy and by administering diagnostic or psychological tests. A psychologist can also give advice on how to manage your child’s behavioural problems, if any. Addressing children’s behavioural problems or parenting challenges with the help of mental healthcare provider is an effective way to deal with parenting stress. It is important for parents to not let any imagined stigma create self-doubt. It is absolutely normal to seek professional help in order to deal with parenting stress and is in no way, a failure of their parenting capabilities.
Conclusion: It is not possible to exclude stress completely from your parenting routine. However, you can definitely make positive efforts to manage it effectively. Try to establish a network of mutual support comprising friends and relatives to deal with parenting issues. Spend time and have fun with your children. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Set your priorities straight and act accordingly and last but not the least, don’t shy away from taking professional help whenever you feel overwhelmed by parenting stress.
HeartyPsych 