Man and woman in love

To Love and to Be Loved—This Is the Psychology of Love

Whether we are aware of it or not, love is all around us. If only we could realize it. There are many people who love us. Think of your family, friends, and the partners who cherish us. But the biggest question to ask ourselves is what love is.

Different people interpret it in a variety of ways. Some take it to be the emotional feeling they share with their partners (for those who are in a relationship or marriage). For others, it is that care that they receive from their parents, siblings, and other people who are close to them. But all of this brings us to one conclusion: love is everywhere, even if some people are oblivious of it.

However, the psychology of love looks at things in a deeper way. It can be said that different types of love do exist and all affect people in many ways. Do you know that love can change the way a person behaves? Yes, it can. This is one of the factors that we will look at in detail here in a bit.

Types of Love to Know

Before we delve into details of how love changes people, let us look at the types of love that everyone should know.

  • Agape love – This is love with no conditions or boundaries. But who else can give such selfless love than one who is connected to you spiritually? That is why the Greeks thought of this as a love that is not given by people to people, but by a supernatural being to people.
  • Erotic love – This has a strong connection to the good of fertility. It is love that is related to procreation in human beings. Greeks believed that one could not control this love. Thus, when two people are in erotic love, they end up in marriage and have children as a result.
  • Affectionate love – This should not and never be confused with erotic love. Affectionate love, according to those who have dated online on websites like Happymatches, is love that you give to people who cannot be considered as your life partner. It is often short-term with some people today doing it on a contractual basis. It typically has mutual benefits.
  • Self-love – Everyone loves themselves. This is driven by the instinct that people will always treat themselves in a special way before anyone else can do so. It is pretty obvious that people love themselves.

There are many other types of love that exist and each one affects people in a different way. The part of the body that is mostly affected by this is the brain, so it is no wonder that love is more psychological. The brain triggers many other things in the body through chemical reactions to alter behavior, feelings, and even what people say.

Psychological Effects of Love

Love changes how people view others and other things. Let’s use an example of erotic love. When a person meets the perfect partner and falls in love, they will tend to push all of their other friends to the side. If there were other close people who also wanted to have a relationship with you, a distance will be created without even thinking about it. Even if some feelings were developing towards them, this will quickly fade away. It is even possible for love to change from one type to another during such a transition.

Some people get so influenced by those that they love or those who love them that they copy their behavior. This is common in married couples or those who are engaged in a long-term relationship. According to experts, love has a strong effect on how people think and behave, and this is evident in many social types of research that have been conducted in the past.

Loving and Being Loved

Because love has a strong influence on how we think, it is worth knowing the best way to love and even how to be loved. How we do it matters to others and also ourselves. It is the difference between satisfaction and dissatisfaction and between being happy and not being happy in life.

Before you start showing love, mostly for the sake of a relationship, you need to understand what type of love it is between erotic love and affectionate love, or in normal words, serious love and casual love. It is not fair to approach the other person with a pretense of showing them erotic love only to dump them later because all that you needed was affectionate love for a short time.


When everything is clear all from the beginning, both parties will be moving in one direction as far as their thinking is concerned. Psychologically, this is the best direction to take. Millennials should read these insights well and apply them to avoid confusion when loving and being loved. However, the information will remain helpful to anyone

Source link:


The Baader–Meinhof Effect or Frequency Illusion

Text written on grey backgroundThe BAADER–MEINHOF EFFECT, also known as frequency illusion, is a cognitive bias and refers to a phenomenon where things or objects that an individual has recently noticed like a name, a word, etc. suddenly seems to appear with strange frequency afterwards. In this phenomenon, the person who has recently paid attention to something obscure or unfamiliar begins to encounter that newly learned information in unanticipated situations. It gives an impression that out of nowhere, the new information is rapidly surrounding him. The reason is that the brain starts noticing the thing, which was once unfamiliar. One interesting thing about this phenomenon is that it is not named after the linguist who did research on it. Rather it is named after a West German militant group which was founded in 1970. However, the militant group has nothing to do with the phenomenon. It was named after the group when a reader of St Paul Pioneer Press first noticed the mention and then randomly heard two references within 24 hours out of nowhere. The phenomenon is a result of two cognitive processes namely selective attention and confirmation bias.

Full moon in the dark sky

Why Do We Still Believe in ‘Lunacy’ During a Full Moon?

Full moon and treesIt’s sometimes called the “Transylvania effect.” In the dark sky, the clouds shift, revealing the full moon’s eerie silver gleam, and the people on Earth below go mad. It’s a story that gets repeated by doctors, teachers and police officers. The science, though, says something different.

Blaming the full moon for strange behavior is a time-honored tradition. In the first century AD, the Roman philosopher Pliny suggested that the full moon caused more dew to form, which led to increased moisture in the brain, and that, he said, led to madness.

The idea that the full moon makes people crazy didn’t go out of fashion along with togas, though—in the 1700s, a British legal expert and judge wrote, “A lunatic, or non compos mentis, is properly one who hath lucid intervals, sometimes enjoying his senses and sometimes not and that frequently depending upon the changes of the moon.” (The word lunatic, by the way, comes from the Latin luna: moon.)

In the 1970s, a popular book posited that just as the moon controls the tides, its gravitational pull affects the fluid sloshing around in human brains. Even today, you might hear stories about classrooms of students misbehaving and people getting hurt in freak accidents around the full moon. But there’s one big problem with all these theories: they’re not true.

For decades, researchers have pored over hospital records and police blotters, and time and time again, they’ve come up with the same answer — the full moon doesn’t seem to be associated with more strange things happening than usual. No uptick in births, no synced up menstrual periods and no madness.

“I’m not aware of a single replicated finding in the literature that there’s a link between the full moon and odd behavior,” says Scott Lilienfeld, a professor of psychology at Emory University. Often, studies that do make this claim don’t hold up to scrutiny. In one paper, researchers posited that there are more car crashes during the full moon. They later retracted it after realizing that many of those full moons were on weekends, when more people are on the road. But despite the lack of evidence, lots of people still believe that the full moon makes things… weird.

But despite the lack of evidence, lots of people still believe that the full moon makes things… weird.

It’s not quite clear where the superstition came from in the first place. But in defence of believers of “lunacy,” the moon does exercise some influence on Earth, from the pull of the tides to the mating cycles of corals and glow-worms. It’s not surprising that people wondered if the moon might be shaping their lives too.

Lilienfeld notes there might be some correlation at work, if not necessarily causation. Before artificial lighting, the full moon might have kept people up at night, including people with mental illnesses that are exacerbated by lack of sleep. The bright sky could have led them to leaved their houses and congregate, says Lilienfeld, “And that may have caused a commotion.”

But no matter where the idea came from, it was probably easy for people to find evidence for their suspicion that bad things happened when the moon was full. “Our brains tend to be predisposed to seeing patterns, even when they’re not actually existent,” says Lilienfeld. “Once people have an idea in their head that the full moon is linked to odd behaviors, […] they may end up seeking out, even unintentionally, instances in which there is a full moon and something strange happens.” We don’t pay attention to the uneventful full moons, but the strange ones stand out.

This pattern of thinking, where we pay extra attention to things that might be dangerous or important, is an example of what psychologists call cognitive bias. It might be hardwired into the way we think, as a means of self-preservation. If you’re walking in the forest and a snake-shaped something springs out at you, you’ll jump out of the way in case it’s a snake. But more often than not, you just stepped on a stick. It makes evolutionary sense to move, though, just in case — our brains operate on a “better safe than sorry” model. The same goes for keeping an eye on the full moon.

And while cognitive bias could protect us from a branch/snake, superstitions like assigning power to the full moon might protect us in a different way.

“The world is very scary, and the world is unpredictable, and it may give us a pleasure, a relief, to think the world is not as uncontrollable, not as unpredictable as we might believe,” Lilienfeld says. “Whether it applies to the full moon, I don’t know, although I do suspect that anything that gives us a sense that we can predict something might provide us with a measure of psychological reassurance.” Things break, people break, and it’s nicer to think that it’s the fault of a bad moon rising than that the world is just a strange place no matter what the sky looks like.

Source link:

a weeping boy with sunflower

Five Grief Quotes

1. Grief is so human, and it hits everyone at one point or another, at least, in their lives. If you love, you will grieve, and that’s just given.

Kay Redfield Jamison

2. Grief can’t be shared. Everyone carries it alone. His own burden in his own way.

Anne Morrow Lindbergh

3. Grief is the price we pay for love.

Queen Elizabeth II

4. Everyone can master a grief but he that has it.

William Shakespeare

5. The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to.

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross & David Kessler

depiction of human brain

Memories: How Do They Form and Fade?

Have you ever wondered why some of your childhood memories are still fresh in your mind even after decades while some recent ones fade in minutes. Researchers have recently discovered the neural processes that cause some memories to fade quickly while making other memories stable over time.

Using mouse models, researchers from California Institute of Technology have determined that strong, stable memories are encoded by “teams” of neurons all working in synchrony, providing redundancy that enables these memories to stay over time. The study helps in understanding how brain damage due to strokes or Alzheimer’s disease may affect memory.

Published in the journal, Science, the study was conducted at Biology research professor, Carlos Lois’s laboratory. The professor is also an affiliated faculty member of the Tianqiao and Chrissy Chen Institute for Neuroscience at Caltech.

The team, led by Walter Gonzalez, a postdoctoral scholar developed a test to examine mice’s neural activity as they learn about and remember a new place. In the test, mice explored a 5-feet-long enclosure where unique symbols denoted different locations along its white walls. A treat (sugar water) for mice was place at both ends of the track. The activity of specific neurons in the mouse hippocampus (the region of the brain where new memories are formed) known to encode for places, was measured while the mouse walked around.

The researcher noted that when a mouse was first put in the track, it was not certain about what to do and so moved left and right until it came across the treat. In these cases, when a mouse took notice of a wall symbol, single neurons were activated. But over several experiences with the track, the mouse became familiar with it and remembered the site of the treat. As it became more familiar, more and more neurons were synchronously activated by seeing each symbol on the wall. Basically, the mouse was recognizing its own location with respect to each unique symbol.

In order to investigate how memories fade over time, the researchers then withheld mice from the enclosure for up to 20 days. Upon coming back to the track after the sabbatical, mice that had formed strong memories encoded by higher numbers of neurons remembered the task promptly. The mouse’s memory of the track was clearly identifiable when analyzing the activity of large groups of neurons, in spite of some neurons showing different activity. Alternatively, using groups of neurons enables the brain to recall memories while having redundancy, even if some of the original neurons fall silent or are damaged.

Gonzalez clarifies, “Imagine you have a long and complicated story to tell. In order to preserve the story, you could tell it to five of your friends and then occasionally get together with all of them to re-tell the story and help each other fill in any gaps that an individual had forgotten. Additionally, each time you re-tell the story, you could bring new friends to learn and therefore help preserve it and strengthen the memory. In an analogous way, your own neurons help each other out to encode memories that will persist over time.”

While earlier theories about memory storage suggest that making a memory more stable requires the strengthening of the connections to an individual neuron, this study proposes that increasing the number of neurons encoding the same memory enables the memory to stay for longer. The study has great implications for designing future treatment that could boost the recruitment of a higher number of neurons to encode a memory, and could help prevent memory loss.