Everybody deals with anxieties and stresses in the business world. As a result, here is a list of techniques that a person can use to help manage their daily stresses and anxieties at their job and/or in the business world. Sometimes, we get stressed when everything happens all at once. When this happens, a person…
Written by Dr. Perry, PhD Image Credit: Pixabay “Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one.” ~Hans Selye Sublimation is a subconscious psychological defense mechanism whereby we take a negative impulse and channel it into a positive behavior. This is similar to displacement (click here to refer to my earlier post […]
Our world is awash with a wave tension that seems to infect every single one of us. Have you driven down the street lately, only to find someone abusing you because you are not doing 30 kilometers over the speed limit? Have you been cursed by a beggar because you have not given them a…
We are bombarded with expectations of being happy and generous, and sometimes we may feel inadequate and alone by feeling just the opposite. . .1,309 more words
Did you know that STRESS is linked to the 6 leading causes of death? According to the American Psychological Association, chronic stress is linked to the six leading causes of death which are: heart disease, cancer, lung ailments, accidents, cirrhosis of the liver, and suicide. We have all been told that stress can kill us, so how can we prevent […]
Students across the country are gearing up for year-end exams and standardized tests, in addition to meeting class deadlines and heavy homework loads. Unfortunately, increased pressure for good grades has many students taking the wrong approach when it comes to exam time preparation.
— Read on stressmanagement1.ga/stress-and-fatigue-top-students-concerns-about-exam-time-2/
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a trauma and stress-related disorder that may develop after exposure to an event or ordeal in which death or severe physical harm occurred or was threatened. People who suffer from the disorder include military troops, rescue workers, and survivors of shootings, bombings, violence, and rape. Family members of victims can develop the disorder […]
Everyone needs a vacation from real life and from work. Most people assume that they need to sail away with a group of people, but you can take a cruise alone as well. This can be a wonderful opportunity for you to relax, contemplate life, write, read, and detach from the world. There is nothing…
Is Anxiety the same thing as Stress?
Sometimes people use the terms stress and anxiety to explain the same feeling. However, to a mental health expert, the difference is essential, because the management of each condition are different. Negative stress or distress is the […]
Did you ever consider too use breathing exercises, yoga poses, and meditation to calm your body and mind? Did you know that an estimated 80 to 90 percent of visits to the doctor are stress-related? [. . .]
Work is practically the center of our lives in this generation. Simply speaking, if you don’t work, you don’t eat – and that’s the truth. But despite our needs for basic commodities, too much work would often lead to stress that will affect us physically, mentally and emotionally; an imbalance that will render us incapable of making decision and will lessen our productivity whether to our career or social life. [. . .]
Different environmental factors experienced by a child can undoubtedly impact their life in the long run. Whether they were born into poverty, lack access to education, or are surrounded by violence, these experiences have the ability to dramatically disrupt their lives if they’re without the right support system. [. . .]
via Affectionate Moms with Depression May Epigenetically Buffer Their Child from Stress
How to influence people by listening with your senses, not just your brain.
When teaching leaders communication skills, I often ask, “Do you know how people feel when you enter the room?” After a few responses, I ask, “Do you know how they feel when you leave?” No matter how well you thought through the words you shared, the way you listened to them will make or break your ability to change how they feel and think.
Most listening is designed to gain information that will fulfill your needs. How often do you listen to people for these purposes:
- To collect data: You listen to know what to say or do next. You listen to formulate your argument, to compare your perspective to theirs, or to fill in what you think you are missing.
- To give an answer or solve a problem: You listen to know what advice to give when they quit talking.
- To obey protocol: You listen because you should, not because you want to.
Listening from the neck up
When you listen for information to formulate your response, you grab only some of their words. They expect you to hear more, and to understand how they feel even though it is hard to accurately decipher facial expressions.1
Listening while thinking annoys most people. Even if you care about them, they won’t feel connected to you in the conversation.
Listen to receive, not analyze
When you choose to be present and connect with someone, you listen beyond your analytical brain. You suspend analysis. You take in and accept their words, expressions, and emotions as elements of their experience. You acknowledge the story they offer as valid from their current point of view. You don’t insert your opinions or judgments. People feel heard and will listen to you in return.
You receive what people offer with the purpose:
- To connect: You listen to establish a feeling of connection.
- To let the person know you value them: You listen so people feel you care what they think even when your perspective differs from theirs.
- To explore, learn, and grow together: You listen with curiosity to learn from the amazing human in front of you. You enjoy when the conversation takes you somewhere new.
Receiving is an active, not passive act even though you suspend your thoughts. You activate your nervous system, receiving sensory input with your heart and gut. With sensory awareness, you can receive and discern what is going on with others beyond the words they speak. They also feel safe enough to openly talk to you.2 You can find a visualization on how to open all three processing centers of your nervous system — your head, heart, and gut — on this site.
Listening with your senses
Sensory awareness includes an inward awareness of your reactions in a conversation. Your reactions might be in response to what they tell you. You also might be reacting to what you energetically receive from them.3 You can sense people’s desires, disappointments, frustrations, hopes, and doubts even when they have trouble articulating these experiences themselves.
Being sensitive doesn’t mean being wishy-washy. It means you are aware of what is going on around you on a sensory level and can sense when people are conflicted or distressed. Most people claim their pets have this ability to sense their emotional needs. Humans can receive these emotional vibrations as well. We just don’t pay attention to them.
You were likely taught to ignore your sensory awareness as a part of your conditioning as a child. Were you ever told, “You shouldn’t take things so personally,” or, “You should toughen up?” These admonishments led you to rely on your cognitive brain for listening.
I’m often asked if venturing into the land of emotions is risky, especially at work. I hear, “I can’t allow people’s emotions to sway me.”
When you don’t allow people to get under your skin, you aren’t experiencing them fully. You are disconnected internally and externally. You put up a wall between yourself and the people you are with.
You might feel their stress, anxiety, and anger. Don’t let these emotions sit in your body.4 Empathy occurs when you receive what another is feeling using sensory awareness, but you need to let these sensations pass through you.5 If you feel their emotion, relax your body and let the emotion subside as you return to being fully present with the person you are with.
There is also emotional energy vibrating between you.6 You can grasp when they want you to back off and give them space. You sense when they are impatient to move on or if they want to take more time. You can tell when they just want to be heard or acknowledged, instead of getting your advice. Share what you notice, and then listen to their response.
You may feel vulnerable when you open yourself to receive what people express. This vulnerability is a strength. Alan Alda said, “Real listening is a willingness to let the other person change you.”7 They feel connected when you interact. They enjoy being with you. They are more open to changing their minds when you receive first and then share your ideas.
5 steps for building sensory awareness in conversations
- Silence your brain: When you quiet your chattering brain, you clear your sensory channels.
- Let go of knowing: Instead of thinking you know how the person will react, try curiosity. Unfortunately, the better you know someone, the more likely you quit being curious. Can you release knowing what people will say? You might be surprised.
- Release the need to be right: Ask questions to understand their perspective. Once they feel heard, you can say you have a different perspective. They will be more willing to hear your point of view.
- Listen with your heart and gut as well as your head: Before your conversation, open your heart with feelings of compassion or gratitude. Then, open your gut by feeling your courage.
- Test your instinct: When you feel an emotional sensation, share what you think they might be feeling, such as anger, frustration, sadness, or yearning. Accept their response. If you are wrong, your guess could still help them better understand themselves and feel you cared enough to understand.
Can you open yourself to fully receive what people offer? They will be more willing to hear your ideas and possibly change their minds if you do.
1 Alice Park. Emotions May Not Be So Universal After All, Time.com, March 6, 2014.
2 Shari M. Gellar and Stephen W. Porges. “Therapeutic Presence: Neurophysiological Mechanisms Mediating Feeling Safe in Therapeutic Relationships,” Journal of Psychotherapy Integration, 2014, Vol. 24, No. 3, 178–192.
3 Daniel J. Siegel, The Developing Mind: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are. New York: The Guilford Press; 2nd edition, 2012.
4 Agata Blaszczak-Boxe, “Too much emotional intelligence is a bad thing.” Scientific American Mind, March 1, 2017.
5 Marcia Reynolds, “Can You Have Too Much Empathy? When empathy breaks trust.” PscychologyToday.com, April 15, 2017.
6 Rollin McCraty, “The Energetic Heart: Bioelectromagnetic Interactions Within and Between People.” Chapter published in: Clinical Applications of Bioelectromagnetic Medicine, edited by P. J. Rosch and M. S. Markov. New York: Marcel Dekker, 2004: 541-562.
7 Alan Alda, Never Have Your Dog Stuffed: And Other Things I’ve Learned. New York: Random House, 2005, p. 160.
People often talk about feeling stressed out. The combination of multiple work, family, and other commitments can start to feel like they’re crushing us. [. . .]
Source: Benefits of Nootropics: 7 Ways These Supplements Help Your Brain by Dr. Edward Group Are you looking for something that boosts your brain — giving you more mental energy, motivation, memory, or focus? Then you’re looking for a nootropic. Whether you’re a hard worker needing a boost of creativity, a student ready to hit the […]