Seeing The Best In Others — Brandon’s Wisdom

Relationships are usually fun at their beginning, at least at the point we decide its worth it to invest ourselves in getting to know a person and giving them a chance to know us. Something catches our interest, draws us to them, or we may be just lonely and seeking someone. At first we have […]

via Seeing The Best In Others — Brandon’s Wisdom

couple holding hands

How to Maintain a Healthy Relationship with your Spouse During Coronavirus Lockdown

LockdownSince we all are under lockdown, we are spending a lot of time with our spouse. This can be a welcome change for some but for some it can be quite stressful too. There are plenty of data to suggest that divorce rates increase during natural disasters. On the other hand, these may also be times when a much stronger bond can be formed between a couple. Here are a few tips that can help you maintain a healthy relationship, especially during lockdown, and form an even stronger bond with your partner:

Share the load: Share the burden of domestic work and any other daily work as much as you can, and in whichever way you can. It will not only lower the physical burden of your spouse but it will also make him/her feel loved.

Spend gadget-free time: As we all are at home, we are spending too much time on gadgets, mobiles, tablets, TVs, etc. To maintain a healthy and sound relationship with your partner, it is important that both of you spend at least some quality time together without these gadgets around.

Communicate: During such difficult and stressful times, it becomes even more important that you keep communication open. Share your concerns and worries with each other. Communicating your worries and concerns with your spouse will not only make them feel wanted, but you may find a solution to them too. You may also find that many of your worries are not even valid.

Get alone time: This lockdown has caused major disturbances in our daily routines. We are getting very less or no time at all for ourselves. We are surrounded by our family members, all the time, which is not a bad thing though, but getting no alone time can also lead to stress. The stress, in turn, can cause sudden emotional outbursts which can spoil the harmony between the partners. So to maintain a healthy relationship, it is important that we spend some time with ourselves as well, by reading or listening to music of our own choice. It will help us stay energized and refreshed. Stay together but give each other some space as well.

Find common interests: Find things that are of interest to both of you. Maybe you both enjoy watching movies or you both love to cook. Find out things where you can work together as a team, play cards, solve puzzles, etc. Games not only help you stay mentally and physically active and healthy, but they also build team spirit. Find games that need collective efforts.

Appreciate: Appreciation is a way to convey to the other person that his or efforts are acknowledged and respected. During this COVID-19 situation, it is vital that you keep appreciating the efforts of your partner no matter how small they are. Thank your partner for doing laundry, preparing food, or going out to buy essentials with full conviction. Your appreciation will definitely increase their motivation.

Practice patience and compassion: This phase also requires that you maintain patience and show compassion toward your partner. Let go of his/her small mistakes and try to overlook such habits that you don’t like. Now is the time to be sensitive to the feelings of the other person. Be a little patient and take your partner’s perspective into consideration before reacting. Remember these are extraordinary circumstances, which require extraordinary efforts on our part.

Be creative: Find creative ideas to keep the love and affection alive in your relationship. Arrange a romantic candle-light dinner or a romantic movie date with your spouse at home. Bring in all the creativity that you can, to make your partner feel loved.

Two Things Your Marriage Must Have To Survive — Dr Nicholas Jenner

There are many theories and models available to inform us what makes a good marriage. Many talk about trust, honesty, faithfulness and effective communication skills. All of these factors are relevant and are essential elements of a good relationship. . . 614 more words

via Two Things Your Marriage Must Have To Survive — Dr Nicholas Jenner

Not Being In A Relationship — DSM (Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Many people become way too worried about not being in a relationship. They believe that if they hit a certain age, their chances of finding someone meaningful goes down. What they are experiencing is the perceived pressure that society puts on them. The reality is that if you believe wholeheartedly that you will meet someone significant, then it shall be done for you.

via Not Being In A Relationship — DSM (Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

A Marriage Counsellor Explains The Emotional Languages of a Happy Relationship — Thrive Global

Modern research has taught us a lot about what keeps people in love — and what makes them fall out of love.

There are dozens of research that teach us a lot about what keeps people in love. Many of them point to the importance of work and effort. Successful relationships emerge when two people invest in their relationship — over time their love becomes stronger, more exciting, and full of fresh emotions and feelings.

via A Marriage Counsellor Explains The Emotional Languages of a Happy Relationship — Thrive Global

Relationships For Creative, Sensitive, Intuitive, Analytical Overthinkers — Where Do You Start? — Your Rainforest Mind

You think a lot. Some would say that you overthink. You feel deeply. Some would say that you over-feel. You love learning. Some would say that you over-research and over-read. You have very high standards and expectations. Some would say that you over-analyze. You are concerned about the future of the planet. Some would say […]

via Relationships For Creative, Sensitive, Intuitive, Analytical Overthinkers — Where Do You Start? — Your Rainforest Mind

Not Being In A Relationship — DSM (Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

Living The Single Life

Many people become way too worried about not being in a relationship. They believe that if they hit a certain age, their chances of finding someone meaningful goes down. What they are experiencing is the perceived pressure that society puts on them. The reality is that if you believe wholeheartedly that you will meet someone significant, then it shall be done for you.

via Not Being In A Relationship — DSM (Defeating Stigma Mindfully)

20 Communication Quotes

1. Communication is everyone’s panacea for everything.

Tom Peters

2. Effective communication is 20% what you know and 80% how you feel about what you know.

Jim Rohn

3. To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.

Tony Robbins

4. Good communication is just as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.

Anne Morrow Lindbergh

5. As long as there is communication, everything can be solved.

Robert Trujillo

6. Honest communication is built on truth and integrity and upon respect of the one for the other.

Benjamin E. Mays

7. It sounds so trite but in relationships, you have to communicate.

Peter Krause

8. Lack of communication is the key to any successful relationship going wrong.

Pepa

9. If what is communicated is false, it can hardly be called communication.

Benjamin E. Mays

10. The speed of communications is wondrous to behold. It is also true that speed can multiply the distribution of information that we know to be untrue.

Edward R. Murrow

11. A man has a property in his opinions and the free communication of them.

James Madison

12. Without a possibility of change in meanings, human communication could not perform its present functions.

Kenneth L. Pike

13. Self-expression must pass into communication for its fulfillment.

Pearl S. Buck

14. Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can’t, and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it.

Robert Frost

15. Civilization grew in the beginning from the minute that we had communication …

Thor Heyerdahl

16. Communication – the human connection – is the key to personal and career success.

Paul J. Meyer

17. Communication is a skill that you can learn. It’s like riding a bicycle or typing. If you’re willing to work at it, you can rapidly improve the quality of every part of your life.

Brian Tracy

18. First learn the meaning of what you say, and then speak.

Epictetus

19. Words of comfort, skillfully administered, are the oldest therapy known to man.

Louis Nizer

20. When the trust account is high, communication is easy, instant, and effective.

Stephen R. Covey

Individualized Positive Affirmations for Improving Self-esteem — Self Improvement

Positive self-esteem is very important if not crucial to our happiness and well being as a human being. Having positive self-esteem can make the difference in that which we take on in life, in that which we go about achieving and creating. Having positive self- esteem also allows us to have healthy and joyous relationships…

via INDIVIDUALIZED POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS FOR IMPROVING SELF-ESTEEM — Self Improvement

Alcohol Problems Often Lead to Trauma and Disrupt Relationships — ACCREDITED SENIOR PSYCHOTHERAPIST/COUNSELLOR-Dr. Fawzy Masaoud-LONDON, ENGLAND

Persons with alcohol use disorders are more likely than others with similar backgrounds to experience psychological trauma. They also experience problems with conflict and intimacy in relationships. Problematic alcohol use is associated with a chaotic lifestyle, which reduces family emotional closeness, increases family conflict, and reduces parenting abilities. PTSD symptoms often are worsened by alcohol […]

via Alcohol problems often lead to trauma and disrupt relationships — ACCREDITED SENIOR PSYCHOTHERAPIST/COUNSELLOR -Dr.Fawzy Masaoud-LONDON, ENGLAND

Man and woman holding hands

8 Relationship Quotes

1. There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love.

Bryanth H. McGill

2. Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.

Lao Tzu

3. We can improve our relationships with others by leaps and bounds if we become encouragers instead of critics.

Joyce Meyer

4. The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.

Carl Jung

5. When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion.

Dale Carnegie

6. There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved.

George Sand

7. Treasure your relationships, not your possessions.

Anthony J. D’Angelo

8. Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.

Carl Jung

The 5 ‘Laws’ You Should Abide By if You Want a Healthy Relationship

When it comes to creating healthy relationship, there are lots of options you can choose from in order to make your love last. [. . .]

https://thriveglobal.com/stories/the-5-laws-you-should-abide-by-if-you-want-a-healthy-relationship/
— Read on thriveglobal.com/stories/the-5-laws-you-should-abide-by-if-you-want-a-healthy-relationship/

man ignoring woman

When One Relationship Partner Is More Interested

The principle of least interest and what it means for your relationship.

Recently I encountered a relationship situation that brought to mind the principle of least interest and what it telegraphs about relationships where one partner is far more interested than the other. It’s an old theory, originating in 1938 with a sociologist named Waller. He noted that when one relationship partner is more emotionally invested in the relationship than the other, the less involved partner has more power in the relationship.

Of course, sometimes a relationship starts with one partner being more interested in the relationship than the other (at the beginning, partners often move at different paces in their emotional involvement with one another). More problematic is that situation where one person is really not all that interested in a romantic relationship with the other (or has lost interest), and deep down knows this is unlikely to change. This person is the least interested (LI), and they have the power to define the relationship on their terms.

The LI sometimes intentionally, sometimes unintentionally, exploits the most interested (MI), who accepts higher relationship costs to keep the LI from walking away. For example, I once knew an MI person who desired a monogamous relationship. As a condition of staying, their LI partner required they accept a polyamorous relationship. Mongeau and his colleagues (2013) found that in many cases, “friends with benefits” relationships often involved an MI partner who accepted the arrangement in the hopes it would become more serious.

The imbalanced MI/LI relationship can last for a while. The LI often doesn’t want to give up the many benefits delivered by the MI. The LI rationalizes by emphasizing that they’ve been honest with the MI, and the MI has chosen to accept their relationship terms. Sometimes the LI is truly ambivalent and doesn’t want to cut the MI loose in case they change their mind.

Because the LI stays, and there are occasional hints of romance, the MI remains hopeful. They give, sacrifice, and compromise themselves. But this is also the MI’s power: Their willingness to take what they can get, when they can get it, and their generosity towards the LI make it harder for the LI to cut them loose.

Waller (1938) argued that in the long run, relationships like these are usually unhealthy. I agree. The MI eventually feels resentful about being taken for granted and taken advantage of and hurt that they have to sacrifice and compromise themselves to keep the LI.

The LI may feel angry or resentful about being manipulated into staying. They may feel guilty about receiving more relationship benefits than the MI, and about how their lessened interest hurts the MI. Sprecher and her colleagues (2006) found partners in these unequal relationships were less satisfied than couples where both partners were equally invested, and that MI/LI relationships were more likely to end.

I’ve been on both sides of this dynamic, and I suppose if I were to offer some tough advice, it might be that if you’re the LI, and your lack of interest or ambivalence persists, the right thing to do is to end the relationship so that the most interested can recover and go on to find a more satisfactory relationship. Yes, you can rationalize that it’s the MI’s choice to accept the relationship as you define it. But at some level, you probably recognize that perhaps you’re taking advantage because you like the adoration, the “treats,” and having a relationship in your back pocket in case you decide you want it later.

If you’re the MI, you should recognize that your dignity and self-respect are high prices to pay to get the LI to be in a relationship with you; that’s not what healthy relationships are made of. Holding on also keeps you from finding a healthier relationship, where you don’t have to compromise yourself.

You might also think about whether it’s unfair of you to make it so hard for the LI to leave and whether you’re manipulating them to get them to stay. When it’s increasingly obvious that the odds of it turning into what you want it to be aren’t in your favor, it’s really best to cut your losses and move on.

Then, of course, there’s always therapy. If you seem to have a pattern of being the MI in your relationships, you may need to explore why you end up in relationships with reluctant or unavailable partners and are prone to this type of imbalanced relationship.

References:

Mongeau, P. A., Knight, K., Williams, J., Eden, J., & Shaw, C. (2013). Identifying and explicating variation among friends with benefits relationships. Journal of Sex Research, 50, 37-47.

Sprecher, S., Schmeeckle, M., & Felmlee, D. (2006). The principle of least interest: Inequality in emotional involvement in romantic relationships. Journal of Family Issues, 27, 1255-1280.

Waller, W. (1938). The family: A dynamic interpretation. New York: Gordon.

Source link: https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/presence-mind/201910/when-one-relationship-partner-is-more-interested